Perhaps maybe

I keep thinking something tonight. Maybe, just maybe...... MAYBE I don't really need a gal. I keep talking to myself during the so called party. Yet, it is rather a big"maybe" - a "maybe" that's too scandalous to be spoken for.

What makes me feel like to have a gal to be with? This is a big "funny" question in my head. I'm told that we would wind up to be with someone, not to mention does she is a someone significant or special. Just a "someone" that you are told you should have. You need company. You need support. You need someone who can share, who can love and you name it. But why wouldn't it happen?

No one has ever talked to me I don't need a gal to be with. It is me who keep telling – it is better say indoctrinating - myself I can be single for good. P.s. I really hate the term "alone", being single is not for fuck's sake! I try a bit hard to talk to myself and I REALLY feel good to be single cause it may be the way I am and I just maintain what I believe. But sometimes, a word of bad-mouth drops by and saying shit: Yo Man!!! Don't be single, it ain't any good! By then, the castle which I built upon just collapsed without a word. Yeah!! I can't be single, it ain't the fuck good.

OK then, I compromise finally. I go out and get a gal. JUST A GAL!!! WHAT A BIG DEAL!!!! I always get what I want anyway.

Gal A – fucked.....
Gal B – fucked again......
Gal C – fucked thrice.............

It is very important to think thrice before action. Now I fuck up myself thrice after many thinks and actions. FINE!!!! I can't get what I want. And, that's a very sad truth......

I can't really synthesize a formula on what I experienced after all. I just know, I can't get what I want, I am still single, single is a bad bad thing, and, I am fucked!!!

Well, it is time for solitude and to think. So, goodnight, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening..........